22 March 2012

And He Said, LET THERE BE LIGHT. And There Was Light. And It Was Good.

It has been a long, long (long, long, long) time coming, but I am happy report, folks, that FINALLY we have an exterior light. Finally. I can't even wait until the end of the post to show you, so here it is. TA-DA!

Can you hear the angels singing? Hallelujah! Halleluuu~uujah!

It's been a long and winding road to this point (you can get caught up here as to how our old light smashed to smithereens in the first place; check out what options we chose from here; find out which model we ultimately selected ~ and why! ~ here; and pop in here to commiserate ~ or laugh along ~ with our disastrous first installation attempt). Long and winding indeed but we definitely have arrived, and we rejoice.

Red Green A wise man once said, "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." Let it be known that my hubby is a very handsome man. You can draw your own conclusions to his corresponding handiness, but it will give you some idea if I tell you it took us no less than FIVE HOURS to install that fracking light. True story.

I am less than useless when it comes to any work that requires me to hold my arms above my head for any length of time (on account of a totally legit former shoulder/neck injury) and besides, someone has to photograph the process for posterity. So that's my job, as well as the provision of intensive, extensive and ongoing moral support and occasionally, as turned out to be the case yesterday, to be the brains of the operation. But mostly I'm just there to hold tools and fetch things, and irritate the one who's actually working by sighing a lot and getting frustrated with our lack of progress. Daryn, on the other hand, tries very hard but is not renowned for his handyman skills. Whatever the gene is that makes you intuitively understand power tools and installation instructions formatted like Pictionary, he doesn't have it. So when you put the two of us together, well ... it is what it is. And it is FIVE HOURS long.

When we received the first light it came missing a critical piece (a little lug-nut that keeps the wire from rubbing around the cap opening, which if left to its own devices, would eventually cut it open and expose the wires and which I understand is bad.). Bummer. It was this little piece that stalled our initial installation attempt, and for which we waited three weeks to receive from the supplier. But instead of sending just that little nut, they sent us a whole. new. light. FOR FREE. Apparently it would have taken forever just to get that small part, so the manufacturer felt it was easier to write it off as a defunct product and issue a new one. Better yet? We got to keep the old light. Which means we now have two lights, and one of them was FREE. Yes, you're reading this right. But don't get too excited (we did, but we got over it).

The second light arrived and passed inspection, but I think it was just that I was too excited to finally get it and wasn't paying much attention. Once we got it home I realized it was missing not one but two pieces, but they were a different two pieces than the original light was missing so it wasn't a huge issue. Once all the parts were accounted for, we then spent a lot of time cutting wires and stripping wires and testing the length of the cord and changing it again, and again, and just one more time.

My "super-professional" tools of the trade: a paring knife, hedge clippers and a cutting board. My services ARE available for hire.

Working my wire-stripping magic

Then came the installation drama, which is too painful to recount in detail. Suffice is to say that we put it up and took it back down again four times, lost one important piece (but cannibalized from the other light, so that was OK), stripped the hell out of one of the screw caps (good thing we had extras) and fell off the "ladder" (A's toddler chair) just once before we were finally ~ ultimately ~ successful. Yes, SUCCESSFUL. And it feels soooo good.

What's that, you say? Do I have a photo journal? Why yes, I do just happen to have one ...

Screwing in the base plate, take #3
It looks like we're getting to the finish line, but looks are deceiving. This was effort #3 of 8
More expert tools of the trade: a J cloth and pliers. You gotta love his technique
At one point it became a family affair

But at the end of the day (truly, at the very end of the day), my husband gave me the very best present ever: LIGHT. Before flipping the switch he looked at me and said, Let there be light. And there was light. And it was good.

It's the best present ever, and it's not even my birthday!

Happiness is .... a working exterior light. And pizza guy? BRING IT ON. No more excuses.

That's it for me today, peeps. Remember to pop over and hit up my very first giveaway for your chance to win two tickets to the upcoming One of a Kind Spring Craft Show and Sale, courtesy of moi. And tomorrow? It's all about the Yostie, y'all! I'll fill you in in the morning.