25 April 2014

Steve Gets a Gold Metal

Geddit? Metal. Like medal, only metallic. That's genius wordplay right there, guys. You won't find anything better than that in this post (which ought to tell you something.)

Anyway.

Some of you who've been reading for a while might remember a certain debate about a certain side table and whether or not it should/would cross the threshold of the new Money Pit. This certain side table was, arguably, quite unique, and only one of us (the one with excellent taste and a healthy sense of whimsy) found him handsome and charming and worthy of our living room. One of us intended to name him Steve.

The other of us protested: he did not like Steve at all. But as with most things d├ęcor-related, the one full of whimsy prevailed.

Steve arrived.



But Steve, for all his terrifying yet dashing good looks, did not please his whimsical owner. His shiny silver metallic finish just didn't jive with the rest of the living room in which he was to live. So our whimsical heroine, she hot-footed to the hardware store and after many minutes of intense internal debate, purchased no less than three different varieties of gold spray paint. One of them, she reasoned, would tie in beautifully with pieces she already had.

Alas, it was not to be. Those spray paint colours sucked, and our heroine was mightily bummed out until a second trip to the hardware store revealed a jar of paint she hadn't noticed before.



Praise be.

The fact that it was a brush-on paint treatment and not a spray-on did not deter her (neither did wind, rain, sleet or snow; that gold paint finish was getting delivered, goddammit.)

It took many, many (like, four) coats to ensure full coverage in all Steve's cricks and cracks, so that no part of him remained untouched by Midas.

And when he was complete, our heroine rejoiced. He was PERFECT.




Even Doubting-Thomas came around eventually, and admitted for the whole world to hear (or at least, our heroine and her offspring) that he likes Steve.

Steve is good... and here to stay.

If you're curious, Steve was purchased at Urban Barn in spring 2013